Teacher: So, Bambi, are you looking forward to getting anything special for Christmas?
Bambi: Well...I'm hoping that Santa will make it so I can fly. Yeah, I want to be able to fly!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Where Babies Come From
Teacher: Who knows what holiday is in October? Yes, Tommy?
Teacher: Um...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Really Deep
[10-year-old boy to Teacher at lunch - Jewish day school]
Student: Are you Jewish?
Teacher: No, I'm not.
Student: Really? ...Why not? What are you?
Teacher: I'm non-denominational.
Student: ... [crickets]
Teacher: Meaning, my faith is comprised of many different elements of spirituality. I do not adhere to the practices or beliefs of one specific religion.
Student: ... [blink blink]
Teacher: I mean, I am me and this is the world around me. I am still trying to understand how the two are connected spiritually.
Student: So, you're not Jewish.
Teacher: No, I'm not.
Student: Are you a fortune cookie?
Teacher: ... [blink blink] Yes.
Student: Are you Jewish?
Teacher: No, I'm not.
Student: Really? ...Why not? What are you?
Teacher: I'm non-denominational.
Student: ... [crickets]
Teacher: Meaning, my faith is comprised of many different elements of spirituality. I do not adhere to the practices or beliefs of one specific religion.
Student: ... [blink blink]
Teacher: I mean, I am me and this is the world around me. I am still trying to understand how the two are connected spiritually.
Student: So, you're not Jewish.
Teacher: No, I'm not.
Student: Are you a fortune cookie?
Teacher: ... [blink blink] Yes.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Laugh It Up
[7 year old girl approaches Teacher after lunch]
Student: Ms. Morris...?
Teacher: Yes, Petra?
Student: Sometimes I laugh really hard and some pee comes out.
Teacher: Thank you for sharing.
Student: Ms. Morris...?
Teacher: Yes, Petra?
Student: Sometimes I laugh really hard and some pee comes out.
Teacher: Thank you for sharing.
The Onset of Puberty
Student to Hebrew School Teacher
Teacher: Jake, do you know when you'll be making your Bar Mitzfah yet?
Student: No, Rabbi says I have to wait until I have hair down there.
Teacher: Ummm... Are you sure that's what Rabbi told you. That doesn't seem right.
Student: Uh-huh. He said when I make my Bar Mitzfah, it's when I'm ready to become a man. So every morning before school, I check down there for pubic hair, and when I get my first one I'm going to tell him so that he knows I'm really ready to become a man.
Teacher: ???
Teacher: Jake, do you know when you'll be making your Bar Mitzfah yet?
Student: No, Rabbi says I have to wait until I have hair down there.
Teacher: Ummm... Are you sure that's what Rabbi told you. That doesn't seem right.
Student: Uh-huh. He said when I make my Bar Mitzfah, it's when I'm ready to become a man. So every morning before school, I check down there for pubic hair, and when I get my first one I'm going to tell him so that he knows I'm really ready to become a man.
Teacher: ???
Where do they learn this stuff?
I have decided to create a blog that is dedicated to all of the children out there who open their mouths and say too much. There is a word for this: logorrhea, which means, to put it bluntly, verbal diarrhea. It seems that there are many students out there who suffer from this unfortunate condition; subsequently, there are many teachers who suffer right along with them.
I have created this blog to capture all of the
horrible/wonderful/hilarious/inappropriate/absurd
comments and questions that come out of students' mouths... Because, really, these stories are too good to be confined to the teachers' lounge.
I have created this blog to capture all of the
horrible/wonderful/hilarious/inappropriate/absurd
comments and questions that come out of students' mouths... Because, really, these stories are too good to be confined to the teachers' lounge.
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